Common missteps men encounter when asking women out and practical tips to improve your approach.

1. "Wanna hang out sometime?"

You think she'll see this as: "He's interested in going on a date with me."

But really, she's thinking: "He's vague and non-committal."

A better approach is to be specific: "Wanna join me for a drink on Thursday night?"

Being specific makes your intentions clear, and displays your confidence and ability to take the lead.

2. "Let me know where you want to go on our date.”

You think she'll see this as: "Wow, he cares about my opinion."

But really, she's thinking: "He's incapable of taking charge and formulating a plan.”

A better approach: 

"Do you like Sushi? I know a great place in the city."

“Which do you prefer? Mexican or Italian food?”

By taking initiative and proposing specific options, you show both your decision making capabilities and adaptability to her preferences. This demonstrates confidence and thoughtfulness.

3."I was thinking we could go for a drink, then get some food, check out the night markets, walk along the boardwalk and finish with ice cream."

You think she'll see this as: "He's really thoughtful and meticulous."

But really, you're overwhelming her, seeming desperate to please, and coming on too strong. Plus, you’re not giving her an out if the date goes sour. She feels like agreeing to your date means committing herself to 4+ hours with someone she barely knows.

A better approach: "Let's meet at [INSERT BAR NAME HERE].”

Then allow the rest to unfold organically.

Proposing a starting venue, then allowing the date to unfold organically makes it feel more natural and relaxed, while leaving room for spontaneity, her input, and a few surprises.

4. "Let me know when you're free. I'm Free Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and most of next week."

You think, by doing this, you're improving your chances of catching her when she's free.

But really, she feels like you're desperate and that you have nothing else going on in your life.

A better approach: "How's Friday night for you?"

Keep in mind: She may be busy on Friday night, and that's ok. If she's interested, she'll tell you when she's next free. And if she doesn’t, you can follow up once more, and then leave the ball in her court:

You: “How’s Friday night for you?”

Her: “I can’t on Friday. I’m going out with friends.”

You: “That’s cool. How’s next Wednesday?”

Her: “Hmm. I can’t do Wednesday either. I’ll be working late that night.”

You: “Late Wednesday shifts suck. My condolences. What night works for you?”

By specifying a time while remaining flexible, you show that you have a life of your own while being both interested in and respectful of her.