How speaking about your goals with others can prevent you from completing them.

When we first set a goal - whether to lose weight, write a book or start a business - it’s exciting. This excitement makes it tempting to share news of our goal with others. But doing so is more likely to demotivate than inspire.

Say you tell a cheerleader…

A cheerleader is someone who supports your every endeavour. This might be your partner, a parent or friend. They’ll be thrilled by the news. Their excitement will get you excited, and happy chemicals will flood your body. But once the chemicals subside, you’ll begin chasing the high, and so you’ll tell another cheerleader, and then another. After you’ve exhausted all of your cheerleaders, and you’ve depleted your body's supply of happy chemicals, you’re left feeling flat and vulnerable. Flatness and vulnerability aren’t conducive to productivity.

Say you tell a well-intended pessimist…

When you tell them about your goal, they’ll explain the difficulties involved or how they themselves attempted a comparable endeavour, and why it didn’t work. Or they’ll remind you of past goals you failed to complete. But they don’t know the extent of your ambitions this time around. It may be that you have a knack for this particular goal, or that your past failures were stepping stones, preparing you for this goal. Whatever the case, telling a pessimist risks demotivation by way of unwanted apprehensions.

Say you tell someone who hides jealousy behind supportive discouragement…

These are the most dangerous people with whom to share your goals, particularly because you trust their opinions. When you tell them, they’ll furrow their brow, move in close, put their hand on your shoulder and say ‘look, I’m only telling you this as a friend. Don’t do it. I’ve seen far too many people attempt it and fail. I don’t want to see you get hurt.’ But they’re lying - perhaps without even realising it. Truth is, they’re threatened by your ambition and are afraid you’ll achieve something they never had the courage or willpower to do themselves. But instead of admitting it, they hide their jealousy behind supportive discouragement in an attempt to kill your motivation.

Telling others risks nay-sayers catching wind…

The best way to prevent a nay-sayer (or ‘hater’ as the modern expression goes) from catching wind of your goal is to keep your mouth shut. You don’t need the distraction of their projected insecurities and needless criticism holding you back, no matter how insignificant you deem their opinions.

Say you tell someone with a similar goal…

Sharing your goal with a like minded individual often breeds demotivation through comparison. If their progress is faster, you’ll feel inferior. If they fall behind, you’ll become complacent.

Say you tell someone for the sake of accountability…

Tasking someone with keeping you accountable for a goal rarely works. Sure, social pressure can inspire brief stints of obligation-based motivation, but it won’t be enough to see you cross the finish-line. Plus, if you don’t achieve your goal, your relationship with whomever was keeping you accountable will be strained. You’ll blame them for your failure and they’ll judge you for falling short of the mark.

Is it ever ok to share my goals?

Yes. But only once your goal is well-thought-out and you’ve progressed to such a point that any negative external influence won’t stop you from reaching the end.

Actions speak louder than words. Few will be impressed by your intentions, but no-one can dispute proven evidence. Keep schtum, work hard and save talk of your ambitions until you’re close to the finish-line. And even then, be careful who you tell.