How to change a person's mind, even if they're stubborn.

Confirmation bias - our tendency to discredit information that opposes our beliefs - is the reason why facts alone rarely change opinions. You could present ten pieces of irrefutable evidence that prove someone wrong, but so long as they have one piece of evidence to the contrary, they’re unlikely to budge.

Persuasion by way of passion won’t work either; raising your voice, arguing and swearing will only make the other person defensive, further cementing their belief. And let’s face it, losing your cool means losing your credibility.

Changing someone’s opinion requires a more strategic approach. To do it, you must either make it worth their while, give them an out, or both.

MAKE IT WORTH THEIR WHILE

Let’s say you’re going to a live show with your partner on the weekend. You’ve suggested getting dinner before the show – because there’s a nearby restaurant that does half priced drinks for happy hour – whereas your partner wants to wait until after the show to get dinner – because they don’t want to feel rushed getting ready before leaving the house. If you say: “If we wait until after the show, I’ll be paying full price for drinks”, then you’re unlikely to persuade your partner – you’re not making it worth their while. Instead, you need to come up with a reason why they’d want to change their mind, like: “If we wait to eat until after it's finished, we’ll be starving, feel unwell, and won’t fully enjoy ourselves during the show.” Now you’ve given them a reason that benefits them. And once it’s worth their while, it’s easier to change their mind.

GIVE THEM AN OUT

Stubborn people attach their beliefs to their self-worth. They fear that changing their mind means admitting fault. To remove this fear, give them the opportunity to cast blame elsewhere. Let’s say your friend believes that through exercise, it’s possible to spot-reduce fat. If you say: ‘you’re wrong, doctors have debunked this many times’, you’ll make your friend feel silly, and encourage them to double down on their belief. Instead, give them an out. Say ‘I understand why you feel this way, there are some health professionals who claim it as truth. However, new information has revealed this to be false. Many Doctors have conducted studies and debunked the theory.’ Instead of blaming your friend for sharing false information, you’ve cast blame onto the source of your friend’s information - the health professional whose content they've read. Thus, you’ve given your friend an easy way to switch sides while leaving their ego intact.

Changing opinions isn’t as simple as prescribing opposing facts or raising your voice. By removing your self-interests from the equation, making it worth their while or giving them an out, you’re more likely to change their mind.